Ero arrabbiatissima con me stessa e con la bilancia, che mi aveva fatto lo sgarbo di fermarsi. Non avevo più perso un grammo e i morsi della fame mi sembravano inaccettabili. Ripetevo a me stessa che non avrei dovuto arrendermi, che era una fase normale in qualsiasi dieta e invece cedetti.
Ero riuscita a resistere, eroicamente, alle tentazioni della dispensa e non era servito a niente. Perchè mai avrei dovuto andare avanti? Tanto valeva mangiare la mia adorata pastasciutta, buttare giù dalla finestra gli odiosi 30 grammi di pane (integrale, s’intende!), trangugiare cioccolatini persino!
In realtà però la mia rabbia per lo stallo nella perdita di peso era più un pretesto per affidare nuovamente al cibo il ruolo di riempitivo che, me ne accorgevo solo in quel momento, da qualche anno a questa parte occupava nella mia vita.
Quando mi ritrovai davanti al frigo alla ricerca disperata di cibo da buttare giù e poi, con lo stesso obiettivo, mi spostai verso la dispensa capìì che non era per ritrovare i piaceri del palato perduti che stavo mangiando. Questo non avrebbe giustificato la quantità e il tipo di alimenti che avevo scelto, nè la velocità alla quale li stavo letteralmente ingoiando.
Non c’era proprio niente di piacevole in tutto ciò e sapevo che dopo mi sarei sentita in colpa. Agivo in quel modo solo per rabbia. L’appetito o la voglia di riscattarmi da due settimane di sacrifici che in quel momento, sbagliando, mi erano sembrati inutili non c’entravano proprio niente.
Mi tornò alla mente una tizia della quale mi avevano parlato una volta, la quale rivoltasi a un dietologo per risolvere il suo grave problema di obesità, si era sentita chiedere di annotare su un taccuino, una sorta di diario della dieta, quante volte al giorno mangiava e perchè.
Misi giù la fetta biscottata alla nutella che stringevo tra le dita…per quale motivo ero ingrassata? Bisognava riflettere e capire. Diversamente non credo che nessuna dieta avrebbe potuto essermi d’aiuto. Così mi misi alla ricerca delle motivazioni che si nascondono dietro l’atto del mangiare oltre alla fame e alla necessità di mantenersi in buona salute.
Vedete quante cose passano per la mente di una donna a dieta? La dieta è molto di più che pesare gli alimenti, dosare le porzioni, bollire le verdure. E’ una sfida, un’opportunità, una resa dei conti con se stesse.
Seguici per non predere neppure una puntata del Diario di una dieta di A dieta da una vita. Ogni giovedì alle 10.30!
Capitoli precedenti
Diario di una dieta, la decisione di cominciare
Diario di una dieta, il primo giorno
Diario di una dieta, il primo appuntamento con la bilancia
Diario di una dieta, le tentazioni della dispensa
Diario di una dieta, quando la bilancia si ferma
Photo credit | Think Stock
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